hello. long time, no see. ummm... i guess an update is in order. on monday i had sex in a bed for the time since august. i should try to have sex in beds more often and in public places less. could this mean i am dating again? i have two special men who just arrived back from japan staying in my home at the moment. we have renamed 'the bunker' (ie. my flat), 'the dude ranch'. it's a hazy smoke den and the ruination of me. i have actually been enjoying new music again and even checked out a new local band live all by myself. very '93. looking forward to the weekend. friday is my last day at fmr ever so i'll probably get horribly drunk at the pub during lunch and spew up a chicken parma or something. saturday is shannon's birthday, lakes' 7' launch (i recently got a new machine that plays vinyl) and witness protection so watch me pass out in a corner that night.
last night at the laird (melbourne's men only leather club), our new found friend mikey described us as... alex = one of the beatles ben = someone from woodstock and me = an a list hollywood celebrity i think i also got myself a new stalker. do you love it?
Dear Melbourne people, Join me tonight at Witness Protection Program at Yelza from about 9pm. I know it's for homos but straighties are always welcome too! All my 'gay' friends are boring the shit out of me so it would be great to have a possee in force tonight. So come! Call me if you want. Thomas Barnaby
i think my body is doing strange things to me again. i don't like it. things are churning inside me but nothing is coming out. i don't want to go out or see anyone until friday 13th. except maybe for a trip to ikea with the girls...
FACT: people in Japan NEVER answer their phone. FUCKED: people in Japan NEVER answer their phone.
That sounded a little dramatic, yeah? I am so bored to tears that it's too boring to write about. All I want to for the rest of my life is eat yum cha and masturbate. can someone please arrange that? thanks.
work starts again tomorrow. although i am dreading going back, i have been very anal retentive tonight in getting ready. i transcribed all my numbers out of old diary into my new one. very nerdy. i also did the dishes. (gen falls off her chair and dies of shock as she reads this.)
i guess an update is in order. christmas and the lead up to were fine. lots of beer and good times were had. highlights included getting almost thrown of out the shock christmas party, being drunk and very dirty by noon on chtrismas day and not being at work. lowlights were 'the spanish apartment' and feeling like i am stalking my ex as i have seen him 5 times randomly in about 2 weeks after successfully avoiding him for 4 months. ho-hum.
new year's was fine. i am very sucky and pleasant when i am on drugs. thanks to everyone who let me chew their ear off. alyson tells me i invented a new dance called 'feeding the cat' which i wish i could remember.
since new year's i have kind of been in hiding. not because of remorse, more just because. i have been a swimming monster and loving the donna hay cookbook i got for christmas. i have finally discovered 'the office' and liked 'talk to her' more than most films i have seen lately. i have alreday discarded 4 bags of clothes this year.
oh, me and alex made episode 2 of our hit tv show 'hugs and puppies' on new year's day. viewings to be held soon. highlights include alex being attacked by a wild dog, rae street underwear adventures, a north fitzroy beat, gen's breats, mcdonald's chat and fisting on gaydar!
i am gonna hide out until 'kellie's poppers party 2 - the sequel', so i'll see you all then.
ps. don't buy the haloumi cheese in the jar from pedi's that is spelt 'haloumy''. it's way too salty. the only person who can eat it is alex.
two nights ago i looked up my childhood crush / first ever masturbation fantasy (fact!), ken (see picture, now 40+) on the white-pages online. i called him up and heard him murmur 'hello' in his dopey yet hott voice and then hung up. do you love it? ken obsessed!!!!!
tonight, i finally did my dishes after a month of putting it off.
the weekend was spent drinking beer and eating cake. do you love it? highlights included: - going to the metro on a saturday night. - watching 'bring it on' for the first time. - eating at madam fangs. - hamming up bf / gf with gen. - giving alex a peter andre keyring.
lowlights were: - going to the peel on saturday night at 4 in the morning alone. loser! - (another highlight: leaving the peel alone on saturday night.) - spending all of my money for the entire week on saturday night.
i have just returned from a work function, maybe that should read a function put on by the people who give me an office. i witnessed two 'hot new talents' perform... but i don't want t talk about the music. i wanna talk about food. as i can't drink ever again after my booze-athon weekend (liver / kidney / some other vital organ is still aching three days later - seriously), i turned down tonight's open bar in exchange for excessive eating of finger food. it was all totally great and i kept on standing where the food would pass and grabbing a couple items at a time. over eating is far more acceptable than being a drunk bum and i'm sure i won't have a hang over.
last night mystixxx and i got stoned with my nineteen year old brother.
the weekend was good. got drunk very quickly at licker / faggot and then spooned a guy i like until noon the next day. best spoon ever (besides mystixxx of course). saturday was drinking for josh's birthday. i ruined myself but that was ok. sunday i saw 'american wedding' with the girls and dan. is it wrong to find stifler attractive?
i had a dream last night that i was auditioning for a part in a movie with leo fitzpatrick. i got the audition through a recommendation from a friend and when i arrived the director said i looked too old for the part and wasn't a 'real actor' but the audition still when ahead. as part of the audition i had to make out with leo fitzpatrick. the script called for a frenzied pash session but i pashed him how would have in real life (ie. less crazy, more... something else?) so i didn't get the part.
well i haven't been nearly as well behaved this week as last. my budget isn't out the window but i did spend a lot of money getting drunk this weekend. friday night mystixxx came over for dinner. she now lives in the hood so there will be many more merry nights together i suspect. we checked out her new pad and then headed off to b-ho's 30th. more drinking, a fight, a dramatic exit, some tears, a reconciliation and a misguided drive then i was passed out in b-ho's spare bed with d'adam.
woke up feeling very groggy with dog spew on my shoulder and a big scratch on my chin, also courtesy of the dog. there were many bodies scattered around their house. a quick trip to kfc, a couple of hours buffy and american pie 2, some chicken sausages then everything felt a little better. the girls dropped me home at 6pm and i ate some chinese take away before rushing to see your wedding night, viviano and minimum chips. all i can say is oh my god.
your wedding night completely broke my mind with their absolute genius. i wanted to root them all. i don't think any of them will be single for long. i was kind of in a weird mood when i got there but within their first verse and i was in better spirits, inspired by my genius friends on stage. alex's set was equally amazing. i love his dancing and vocal stylee. '21 and wild' was a highlight. nicole provided much entertainment with her between song banter. it was great to see ellen play too. they covered the stage with plants apparently bought from hello hello (!).
after a quick dance, i headed off to the public office for witness protection. yikes! there was a bit of fall out from the night before's fight. nothing too serious - just lots of people asking questions. enough to make me feel like i am some tantrum throwing retarded kid but hey maybe i am and maybe that's ok. drunk lots of beer with cameron and adam before having a bit of dance only too realise that i was probably too drunk to dance. my stars said i would be in contact with someone i met a couple of months earlier - i made out and went home with the man from january. rad.
woke up very hungover and with a man in my bed. nice. after fooling around for a bit i tried to catch mystixxx and alex for breakfast at endis but i was an hour late. i needed an afternoon nap after the food. woke up and borrowed 'summer of sam' from the video library which i enjoyed. i ate popcorn and coke for dinner. then stayed up until 2.00 am watching danos-direct ads.
2003 is the year i become boring and i love it. i am so into sitting in front of the heater and reading. it's hot. this last weekend was kind of quiet but good. i have been spending money like a crazy mutha so i have put myself on a budget so i can save for all those oh, so important things that i lack in my life like a dvd player, a washing machine, shoes without holes, more than one pair of jeans etc etc. so i am totally budgeting and making my own fun.
friday night i window shopped in the city for two hours on the way home from work ( i have been getting to work before 10 everyday, can you believe it?), looking at dvd's and cheap t-shirts at best and less. upon arriving home i made my new dish, risotto, and watched 'titanic' on the television that went for like 12 hours with all the ad breaks. then i did my new favourite thing: chatting to matt and shale on messenger. matt has a webcam which is totally awesome / addictive. it's great to check out his different outfits everyday.
saturday morning i woke up at like 8am. that was competely weird and rad. i got a tram into town and visited all my record shop working friends, stopping to look at the buffy merch at minotaur. from 1987 to 1992 i used to that every saturday, go from record shop to record shop and pretty much spend no money but just be happy to do the rounds of the shops. i spent some of a voucher i had from augogo on some new tunes / replaced some lost tunes.
my computer finally packed it on saturday morning too which was a bummer as i found a webcam really cheap whilst shopping. normally a dying computer would be the death of me but i can't be bothered getting upset about shit like that anymore. i am now using ben's fancy imac he loaned to me before he went to japan. after the city i met up with natalie and matt for italian coffee and cake in smith street. good stuff. natalie looked at some new shoes for me and furniture for her and matt. apparently she can get me the shoes i want cheap. rad.
the girls came over for dinner on saturday night. i made risotto again. do you love it? we listened to tunes and watched the porno that they gave me for christmas called 'a beautiful dick' which is terrible but features these amazing farm animal / elephant type noises loudly in the background while men clumsily poke each other on rugs. we then flicked through my 'picture book of saints' which includes saint rita the most mainly looking woman ever. the rest of the night mindy and i cracked each other up by saying 'saint rita' in a high pitched mexican voice or making elephant noises.
after too long on my couch (which is slowly getting more and more uncomfortable - an other item to add to the to buy list), we headed down to the evelyn to see art of fighting who were great. the girls headed home and i probably should have too, but i headed out with the aof crew. first stop was the old bar which i had never been to but am now totally in love with. lots of young hot spanish men and women with a good mix of indie / skater kids all grinding to timberlake. nice.
next stop, tankerville. that should have been enough of a sign to go home but i love to drink with the brothers browne. 4.30am came very quickly and i went to bed without enough water. missed landline on sunday morning - my new favourite show - it's a farming type show for all you overseas folk. slowly got myself together and went to see 'igby goes down' at the wesgarth by myself while it drizzled outside. followed by 'girl interrupted' on the tellie at home. oh wionna, what happened to you?
i stayed on target. i didn't go over my budget and had some lots of fun. i also gave myself the pleasure moment. why haven't been this togther all my life?
You are "Cry Me a River". You've been cheated on and had you're heart broken so you're a bit wary of getting into a relationship. Make sure your sadness doesn't get the best of you though, life goes on.